Thursday, March 28, 2013


Bottom Line: This cinematically bipolar sequel/reboot to the ham-fisted and nearly unwatchable 2009 original possesses an intriguingly motivated, adrenaline-fueled, buckle-your-seat-belt wild ride first half  – its BLACK HAWK DOWN meets MISSION: IMPOSSIBLE (both lite versions, mind you…let’s not get too crazy).  Death defying daring do, Double crosses,  and a whole lotta Dwayne ‘The Rock’ Johnson getting’ sh*t done abound.  It’s the G.I. JOE movie I would have made circa late 70’s – with a bin full action figures, shoes as all-terrain vehicles and bookshelves as jutting cliffs for ninjas to fight while swinging from dental floss cables…  The second half, while still packed with explosive action, delves into a deliriously mindless run of nonsensical gunplay, bombastic destruction and rushed, lets-wrap-this-puppy-up storytelling.  Characters misguidingly flop about (aside from an effectively corny and deliciously evil turn from Jonathon Pryce as the President of the United States), the premise loses steam and the focus on making a wholly exciting G.I. JOE movie is nearly lost.  It may be cheesy, over-the-top and completely ridiculous…but using a $135 million budget to bring an 8-year olds military playroom movie to life means you’re still in for a bit of good ol’ fashioned, shoot ‘em up fun!

Starring: Dwayne Johnson, Channing Tatum, Adrianne Palicki, Jonathon Pryce, Ray Park, Byung-hun Lee, D.J. Cotrona and Bruce Willis
Directed by: Jon M. Chu (STEP UP 2 THE STREETS and STEP UP 3-D)
Rated: PG-13
Running time: 90 minutes
Story: In this sequel, the G.I. Joes are not only fighting their mortal enemy Cobra; they are forced to contend with threats from within the government that jeopardize their very existence. -- (C) Paramount


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