HOT PURSUIT (D-)

The Bottom Line: Hitting screens with all the grace of a drunken monkey driving a steamroller, this disarmingly dimwitted duo-on-the-run ‘comedy’ is poised, rightfully, to go down in box office flames.  Let’s throw the main focus (read: blame) on the stars: Reese Witherspoon – yes THAT Reese Witherspoon – the one that was nominated for a Best Actress Oscar a few months back (and has actually won one as well).  She read the script – which is in not funny – and decided to not only star in but produce this shrillingly forgettable flick. Her tight-lipped, flat-footed, Texas-twangy police officer is goofy and unintentionally unlikeable.  Sophia Vergara (or is it Viagra?!) must have moved forward solely on the direction of cranking her Modern Family character up to eleven – leaving it there – and occasionally jacking it up to twelve. Both characters have the type of headache-inducing verbal cadence that shatters glass, scatters pigeons at a park or feels like you’re getting Morse code tattered across your forehead with a stiletto heel (worn by that monkey mentioned above).  These two talented-in-almost-everything-else actresses have zero chemistry together.  Hot Pursuit may be a career low point for both.  The rest of the story is disjointedly cobbled together through uninspired direction, lazy writing and repetitively unfunny, blindfolded whack-a-mole joke telling about age, height and social proclivities.  There is literally nothing new brought to the table as it aspires to be some Midnight Run meets Thelma and Louise knock-off.  As is the case with most advanced screenings, a portion of the audience experienced a laugh or two here, an awkward guffaw there – but you can easily chalk that up to the experience costing them no money.  More than the single laugh I let out, however, I think I most appreciated the diminutive 87 minute run time.  It’s short enough to not be completely offensive.  …It’s not COMPLETELY offensive, just mostly.  I haven’t seen them yet (they can’t be any worse), but save your money for Pitch Perfect 2 or Mad Max: Fury Road next week.  The word ‘Pursuit’ is clearly present in the film’s title, but this is a hot something else altogether…  

Starring: Reese Witherspoon and Sophia Vergara

Directed by: Anne Fletcher (The Guilt Trip, The Proposal, 27 Dresses and Step Up)

Rated: PG-13

Running time: 87 minutes

Story: In "Hot Pursuit," an uptight and by-the-book cop tries to protect the sexy and outgoing widow of a drug boss as they race through Texas, pursued by crooked cops and murderous gunmen. -- (C) New Line

Official site: www.hotpursuitmovie.com