Thursday, August 7, 2014


Bottom Line: Negative reviews for this updated reboot should be a dime a dozen this weekend – awkwardly misguided attempts for subtitle-loving, art-house pandering know-it-all’s to cool you on a movie you’re not even excited to see in the first place.  Granted, a portion of their pan might actually be legitimate…  They’re sure to mention the lack of a compelling story, the hurried atmosphere and paper-thin world building.  Some might even spend too much time on the not-at-all-ugly Megan Fox and her inability to move her career in an upward – or even forward – direction (I’m pretty sure Turtles is a step or two back from Transformers right?  Right?!).  There’ll most definitely be talk of the movie’s tone; quite literally moving like the tortoise as well as the hare - bouncing from light-hearted moments to deadly serious situations with all the grace of a parental-basement-living, Comic-con obsessed, 32-year old trying to teach an actual turtle the traditional art of nunchuckary.  Spoiler alert!  This movie has a few issues.  But overshadowing all the inevitable critic hate is the fact that this movie is inherently built not for them, but for fathers and their young sons (#TargetAudience) or even someone with an open mind…  In that regard – in that context – it actually makes for an easily digestible, fairly entertaining time at the movies!  This slightly tweaked origin story of the heroes in a half shell brings quite a bit of explosive action, plenty of laughs and should saddle you with a pleasantly surprising it-was-actually-kinda-fun vibe.  And to top it all off, we’re treated to first rate special effects that supremely individualize each of the four shell dwellers and bring them to wisecracking, bone crunching life.  You can waste your breath nitpicking, or you can spend quality time with your mini-you (or by yourself) and experience the same kind of joy that once overtook you when you were that age.  The boys absolutely loved it, each throwing an A+ its way before the credits started to roll.  My buddy, the dad, was as shocked and impressed as I was…  Not blown away because we both saw the delightfully wacky and much more fulfilling GUARDIANS OF THE GALAXY (A-) a few days prior, but definitely impressed.  Energetic and entertaining – for the right audience, you’re assured one SHELL of a good time!  …and yes, I just went there…
Starring: Megan Fox, Will Arnett and William Fichtner
Directed by: Johnathan Liebesman (WRATH OF THE TITANS and BATTLE: LOS ANGELES)
Running time: 101 minutes
Studio description: The city needs heroes. Darkness has settled over New York City as Shredder and his evil Foot Clan have an iron grip on everything from the police to the politicians. The future is grim until four unlikely outcast brothers rise from the sewers and discover their destiny as Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. The Turtles must work with fearless reporter April O'Neil (Megan Fox) and her wise-cracking cameraman Vern Fenwick (Will Arnett) to save the city and unravel Shredder's diabolical plan. (C) Paramount

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