Friday, April 25, 2014

BRICK MANSIONS (F)


Bottom Line: Making the FAST AND FURIOUS movies feel like they were written by William Shakespeare, BRICK MANSIONS is a should-have-gone-straight-to-video, so-glossy-everything-looks-fake, poorly-shot-parkour-fueled, unimaginative mess.  Going in expecting a comedy would suit your ticket investment wisely…  This being his last fully completed film (let’s use that term ‘fully completed film’ loosely), Paul Walker acquits himself favorably.  He’s never been known for depth – but the engaging charm he instilled in his roles was always something we could root for…  And, on occasion, he’s at it again here.  Unfortunately, the rest of the movie is an overproduced, underwritten and un-compelling bore.  The story is laughable, the acting forgettable, the action uninspired.  I literally forgot about each scene the second it ended – sometimes, even while I was watching it…  If you don’t mind lazily polished studio turds wrapped in a shiny sheen of mindlessly pointless action, then knock yourself out.  No, seriously, knock yourself out in the hopes you’ll come to and have forgotten any desire you ever had to see this waste of cinematic space.  Walker was a charismatic actor who died way too young – SH*T MANSIONS is the hilariously unfitting send-off that we’re left with…  Mourn for Mr. Walker, not the careers of the people behind this horrid flick.
 
Starring: Paul Walker, David Belle and RZA
Directed by: Camille Delamarre
Running time: 90 minutes
Studio description: In a dystopian Detroit, abandoned brick mansions left from better times now house only the most dangerous criminals. Unable to control the crime, the police constructed a colossal containment wall around this area to protect the rest of the city. For undercover cop Damien Collier (Paul Walker) every day is a battle against corruption. For Lino (David Belle), every day is a fight to live an honest life. Their paths never should have crossed, but when drug kingpin, Tremaine (RZA) kidnaps Lino's girlfriend, Damien reluctantly accepts the help of the fearless ex-convict, and together they must stop a sinister plot to devastate the entire city. With stylized action featuring thrilling Parkour stunts (David Belle is the co-founder of this physical training discipline), Brick Mansions puts an entertaining twist on the action genre. (c) Relativity
 

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