Friday, January 25, 2013

HANSEL & GRETEL: WITCH HUNTERS (C+)

Bottom Line: This whacked-out-fairy-tale-on-acid’s chances of having anybody take it seriously are pretty grim – but I would argue that that’s kind of what makes it work.  Kind of…  It’s indeed an over-the-top, no-brainer break from the crop of must-see, must-have-patience, think-piece Oscar baiters of late (I’m looking at you LINCOLN) and sometimes it’s just fun to shove popcorn, soda and Red Vines down your gullet while watching leather-clad, weapon-toting short story characters take evil witches to task for their evil, woodland, child-stealing deeds.  HandG: WITCH HUNTERS gleefully commits to its cause and deliverers a goofily ridiculous, vigorously action-packed and viscerally head-pounding spectacle of profanity, violence and gore.  If you’re looking for something that most critics will hate and has a heavy MATRIX meets VAN HELSING by way of THE THREE STOOGES vibe – then you might actually get a kick out of this indifferently entertaining flick.  I got 99 problems, but this witch movie ain’t one…
Starring: Jeremy Renner, Gemma Arterton and Famke Janssen
Directed by: Tommy Wirkola
Rated: R
Running time: 100 minutes
Story: After getting a taste for blood as children, Hansel (Jeremy Renner) and Gretel (Gemma Arterton) have become the ultimate vigilantes, hell bent on retribution. Now, unbeknownst to them, Hansel and Gretel have become the hunted, and must face an evil far greater than witches...their past. -- (C) Paramount


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