Tuesday, September 1, 2009

Telling Like It Is

The summer movie-going season has come to a close.

I figure other people have a life and don’t make it a point to see every single movie that comes out over this nice-weathered, four-month period - so this week I’d like to leave you a Summer 2009 retrospective of my hits, misses and the stuff in between.

I encourage you to hold on to this list, post it on your fridge or simply frame it and hang it up in your living room. Either way, it might serve you well in the upcoming months as the weather gets frightful and you’re looking for a solid rental.

STAR TREK (sci-fi): The reboot origin story.
UP (animated): The Pixar movie about growing old but holding on to your youth.
DRAG ME TO HELL (horror): The only watchable scary movie of the year.
THE HANGOVER (Bradley Cooper and Ed Helms): The Vegas-based comedy classic.
THE HURT LOCKER (Ralph Fiennes): The intense and action-packed Iraq war thriller.
500 DAYS OF SUMMER (Joseph Gordon-Levitt & Zooey Deshanel): The off-beat romantic comedy.
DISTRICT 9 (sci-fi): The alien/refugee sudo-documentary.
INGLOURIOUS BASTERDS (Brad Pitt): The blood-splattered Quentin Tarantino war-movie.

THE PROPOSAL (Sandra Bullock & Ryan Reynolds): The enjoyable anti-romantic comedy.
BRUNO (Sacha Baron Cohen): The graphic, fashion-focused mocumentary.
HARRY POTTER AND THE HALF BLOOD PRINCE (Danielle Radcliffe): The fifth Harry Potter film.
FUNNY PEOPLE (Adam Sandler & Seth Rogen): The half-funny/half-serious Judd Apatow movie.
JULIE & JULIA (Meryl Streep & Amy Adams): The Julia Child movie.

X-MEN ORIGINS: WOLVERINE (Hugh Jackman): The superhero with razor-sharp claws movie.
ANGELS & DEMONS (Tom Hanks): The dull prequel to the dull The DaVinci Code.
TERMINATOR SALVATION (Christian Bale): The terminator movie that takes place in the future.
NIGHT AT THE MUSEUM: BATTLE OF THE SMITHSONIAN (Ben Stiller): The museum comes to life movie.
THE TAKING OF PELHAM 123 (Denzel Washington & John Travolta): The hostages on a subway movie.
IMAGINE THAT (Eddie Murphy): The movie where the dad conducts his business based of his daughter’s drawings.
TRANSFORMERS: REVENGE OF THE FALLEN (Shia LaBeouf): The movie with giant talking and fighting robots.
MY SISTER’S KEEPER (Cameron Diaz): The movie where parents conceive another child to save the life of their existing child.
PUBLIC ENEMIES (Johnny Depp & Christian Bale): The John Dillinger movie.
ICE AGE: DAWN OF THE DINOSAURS (animated): The movie about prehistoric animals.
A PERFECT GETAWAY (thriller): The goofy tropical island thriller.
THE TIME TRAVELER’S WIFE (Rachel McAdams & Eric Bana): The girl falls in love with a man that keeps disappearing movie.
SHORTS (family/kids): The movie with the magic rock that grants everyone’s wish.
G.I. JOE: THE RISE OF COBRA (Dennis Quaid): The action figure movie that wasn't quite as bad as most critcs would lead you to believe.

GHOSTS OF GIRLFRIENDS PAST (Matthew McConaughey): The guy who relives his past dating experiences movie.
NEXT DAY AIR (comedy/action): The delivery guy finds a box of cocaine movie.
LAND OF THE LOST (Will Ferrell): The worst movie of the year.
MY LIFE IN RUINS (Nia Vardalos): The Greek tour guide looks for love movie.
YEAR ONE (Jack Black): The unfunny romp thru biblical times movie.
I LOVE YOU BETH COOPER (Hayden Panetierre): The I want to date the hot high school girl movie.
THE UGLY TRUTH (Katherine Heigl): The painfully unfunny romantic comedy.
G-FORCE (semi-animated): The Special Forces hamster movie.
ORPHAN (thriller/horror): The little girl terrorizes her new family movie.
THE GOODS: LIVE HARD, SELL HARD (Jeremy Piven): The movie about guys selling cars.
POST GRAD (comedy): The girl who doesn’t know what to do after college graduation movie.

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