Balancing
movies with life means you have to occasionally pick-and-choose what you see
each week… With that in mind, I’ve been
able to avoid some (not all) of the real duds you’ll find populating other
worst-of-the-year lists. Numbers 1
through 5 here are the movies I aggressively disliked while 6 through 10 are
flicks I actively looked forward to only to be let me down in a big way.
Pretty simple. These movies all stunk to varying degrees. No more needless words - let's get to it...
#10 Live by Night
Moody, somber and overstuffed. This pretty yet overstuffed prohibition era saga
couldn’t live up to the year-end, awards-ready promise of it’s exciting
trailer. It’s a bootlegger bust.
#9 The Legend of
Tarzan
Goofy,
dour, cheesy, dull. A 180-million-dollar workshop on how not to make a summer
blockbuster.
#8 Jack Reacher:
Never Go Back
Tired,
uninspired and mechanically dull. Extra points though for including a helpful
reminder in its title…
#7 The Magnificent
Seven
Denzel
Washington and Chris Pratt playing cowboys must have looked good on paper. Unfortunately, they fail to bring anything
new or intriguing to the big screen in this ho-hum hoedown.
#6 Jason Bourne
The
Bourne Complacency. A forced and
meandering greatest hits rehash. Here’s hoping we’re not Bourned again.
#5 The Secret Life
of Pets
After an innovative and joyful 5-minutes it turns in to an obnoxious Toy Story with dogs rip-off.
After an innovative and joyful 5-minutes it turns in to an obnoxious Toy Story with dogs rip-off.
#4 X-Men:
Apocalypse
Convoluted,
bland and misguidedly self-serious.
Smashes the brakes on all the energetic momentum instilled by its predecessors.
#3 Zoolander No.2
The
original was light, comedic and goofy.
This hyperactive mess aptly has No.2 in its title. Because it’s a heaping pile of it.
#2 Suicide Squad
Spastically
empty and chaotically obnoxious. Pack a
group of super baddies in a movie and the results are, somehow, way less than
super. Possesses the same sense of urgency
a slug would searching for salt…
#1 Miss Peregrine’s
Home for Peculiar Children
Aimlessly convoluted and gothically unengaging. An X-Men meets Harry Potter wannabe that bores at every single turn… Director Tim Burton's predictable tricks are no longer a treat.
Aimlessly convoluted and gothically unengaging. An X-Men meets Harry Potter wannabe that bores at every single turn… Director Tim Burton's predictable tricks are no longer a treat.
